Black Night

"How did it come to this ?"
Two o'clock in the night and am still awake after dealing with a particularly taxing problem. The pressures of the previous days have taken their toll and the heart yearns for respite. No amount of CS and no amount of "bhaat" can now take it away. I decide to venture out.

I leave the room, go down the steps, greet the other nightwalkers with a perfunctory smile and an imperceptible nod of the head. They reply in kind and understand you for what you are, another forlon soul in search of calm. I reach my cycle, unchain it and and set it free from its shackles. It seems to creak in approval and longs to spring away. As I approach the gates that lead to the wilderness beyond I see the guards peacefully sleeping. I see the little kid who works at the canteen cleaning up and getting ready to close shop and wave to him. The kid waves back with a smile that would have made illuminated the place up during its innumerable power cuts. Its amazing how one smile can trigger off countless others. The kid gets back to his work leaving me wondering.

I leave the gate and venture out onto the little lane leading away from the light and into the darkness. Surprisingly as the night gathers around me and envelops me in its immeasurable depth it offers a eerie kind of comfort. The cycle creaks in protest as I pedal slowly not wanting to reach the lights that herald the beginning of the main avenue. It feels the need for speed. I dont, for a change.

I slowly turn onto the well lit main avenue and leave the comforting darkness behind. As I keep going I see small groups of people huddled around small fires and then the chill of the night hits me. They dont seem perturbed by my presence and carry on. The rain starts to come down and the combination of the wind and the rain makes it special.

I reach the final bend soon after and turn onto the last lap. I now slowly work up the pace till the sides are a blur and the only thing I can feel is the sound of the wind as it rushes past and the rain as it beats down on the desolate road. It feels good to let go.

Soon after I reach my destination, set my cycle by the side and stand there looking far away into the horizon and beyond. It strikes me that the journey indeed is always as much if not more enjoyable than the destination. In that silent lonely place the lonely soul finds company as I feel the wind blow against my clothes and the rain hit me in a constant downpour. I smell the wet earth, I can see the stars peep out of the clouds every now and then. The leaves rustle in the wind, the grass blades sway and sport a wet look as the rain runs off it.

Different people from different times visit as memories flood back. Follies of the past and worries of the future are forgotten as concepts like space and time are forgotten and all that remains is now and here and life is good. I stand there for what seems like an eternity and soon night gives way to the twilight.

Soon after the silence of the night yields to the sounds of the birds and I know that the sounds of civilization cannot be far behind. The reality of space and time hits me again and the window to that land of serenity and peace closes leaving me content but wanting more, paradoxical though this might seem. The rain seems to have had a cleansing effect on the body and the soul. I pick myself up and set off back feeling surprisingly light and ready for the day ahead and I ask myself yet again. "How did it come to this?". Isnt this where we came in? and yet somehow the question has an altogether different connotation now. :)

Over and out folks.. its been a long long transmission this one.. will leave you with some of my favourite lines..

I love night more than day--she is so lovely; But I love night the most because she brings My love to me in dreams which scarcely lie. --- Philip James Bailey

The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one; Yet the light of the bright world dies With the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one: Yet the light of a whole life dies When love is done. --- Francis William Bourdillon

Most glorious night! Thou wert not sent for slumber! For the night Shows stars and women in a better light. -- Lord Byron.

Btw.. if you wondering the reason for this post, its just that I suddenly seem to be asking that question that begins this post yet again. But this time around I know there is an answer out there waiting somewhere. If only someone could tell me the precise location. But then, the charm of the quest would be lost, wouldnt it?